To be continued...

I don't know where to start. I have something I need to do. I want to do it. But I am scared. I am afraid of failing. But I need to do it for me and for my children. I've made the first step and now I just need to go for it. I have to remember that if I do fail I need to pick up and try again. Do I want support or will that push me away? People have told me that I will get the support. But I don't want it to be crazy. Can I do this on my own? Well all I can to is start and try.

Easter

Well this Easter was quite fun. We did a lot of things and enjoyed our day. Church was always good. Kara especially loves going to nursery. She is always ready and willing to get ready for church. When we came home we decided to watch a Jesus Christ related movie to think of the real meaning of Easter. My Dad had given us "The Testaments" DVD the night before so we put that in and watched that. It was fun to here my sister Amy high voice in that movie. We then left to make our way to my Mom's for dinner. We made 2 stops before. We saw Grandma Shepard she enjoyed seeing the children. She was so happy we stopped in even if it was only for 10 minutes. We then left and saw Grandma Sonntag she was happy to see us as well. She was surprised to have us there. We stayed 10 minutes there too. But the visit was good for being so short. We then made it to my Mom's for Dinner. We had smoked beef ribs, parmesan potato wedges, and candied carrots. And Grandma Sonntag's famous jello. The food was really good. the ribs had a different taste being smoked but I enjoyed it. After dinner we took these cute pictures of the children. I didn't have a single picture of my children together by themselves. After that we then traveled to see Danny's parents. Mom and Dad Saxton were happy to see the children. After that we finally made it home after nine. It was a wonderful Easter.


Christopher is my cute little bear. That is his nickname. He brings me so much joy and happiness. He got his first tooth on April 5-6th. So he has been a bit of a grouch. When we were shopping for Easter stuff Saturday. I saw this cute outfit and we decided to get it for him. It has a lion on it and says "King of the Jungle". Danny's favorite animal is a lion. So we were very excited. He looks so cute with the hat and cargo pants. I love cargo pants. So my boy will probably have many of them.


Kara is my cute snuggle bear. That is her nickname. Getting her easter dress was loads of fun. I wanted her to pick it out and I wanted it to be what she would be excited about wearing. We were in the store they had 3 dresses in her size so I got all of them out and asked her what one she wanted. We had it down to 2 different ones. One was green and the other pink. I asked her what one she wanted and she picked the pink one. We then go shoes. We had 2 different ones there to one with colorful flowers or one with one white flower. Well she got the colorful flowers one. She even got new tights. She was so excited about her dress and shoes when we got home that night she wanted to wear them right then. I told her tomorrow for church. Well first thing she asked me when she woke up was "Mama, Pretty dress On." Since Easter she has asked to wear it 2 more times I am so glad that she has a pretty dress that she like so much. She loves the shoes too. She has worn those around the house almost every day. And then finds them and wants to put them on again.


I love my children so much they are my biggest joy in life. They bring so much happiness to me.

5 Randoms...

5 Things in my fridge:

~Gravy with onions

~5 doz. eggs

~So much salad

~Diet Coke

~So much Cheese

5 Things in my closet:

~Clothes that don't fit me that I hope to fit into some day.

~Wall pictures that I hope to hang some day.

~Games that I hope to play some day.

~Electronic cords and left over cables that we may use some day.

~My guitar that I will play some day.

5 Things in my purse:

~cell phone

~word search

~wallet

~diapers and wipes

~bottle of water


5 Things in my car:

~lots of dirt and rocks

~garbage

~Car Seats

~newpaper bags

~tire jack

5 Things on my Tivo/DVR:
(Don't have it- but if I did...)

~Smallville

~Crossing Jordan

~Heros

~Law and Order: SVU

~Ghost Whisperer


Tag: Lou, Nik, Lena

St. Patrick's Day

Well as most of you know. St. Patricks day is one of my favorite holidays. Even though it is not celebrated as big now. Other than maybe in the pubs. It's reminds me of Ireland and the time I spent there on my mission. I can't believe it is 10 years next month since I will have come home. Our St. Patrick's day this year was a little crazy. Jesse had invited us to scrapbook at her apt. with the family for a couple of hours. Are car the night before was having problems so it was in the shop. By the time we got the car I only spent a 1/2 hr. at Jesse's apt. I did get 2 pages done. Which is good for me. I was all dressed up in my St. Patrick's day outfit. I had my hat, shirt and suspenders. And Kara wore the bobbing headband with shamrocks on it. Later my mom and al had invited us over for dinner. Al was making Irish stew and soda bread. So I was excited. I tryed to get her to make roasties but no luck. The dinner was delicious. Mom wanted me to talk about Ireland but my mind was at a blank that night.




Ireland is a very dear place to me. I hope to go back there someday. I keep in contact with only one person there. I enjoy hearing from her and love to get the occasional package from her. Thankfully we have email. So I hear from her a little more often. There is one time when I was in Ballyclare my last area. Ava took me and my companion to see Belfast castle. It was really cool to go there and to see all the neat things. If I remember correctly. Shortly after we left there they had a bomb threat. We were very thankful that we didn't get caught in that.



There were so many places I did see when I was in Ireland. Waterford was one place I enjoyed as far as the scenery is concerned. We saw Waterford castle, we walked on the beach, and we drove around Cork. I was only there for a month so that is alot to see in such little time. Our apt. was above a pub so we heard the music and dancing every weekend.
My mission was a life changing event for me and I would not be the person I am today. I am so grateful for the people and places I was able to see. Many of my companions taught me alot. Good and Bad. I know that the gospel is true and that sharing that fact with the people of Ireland is a great opportunity. I know that one small day a year to remember that wonderful time I had in Ireland is a great blessing for me.

Mother and me

"There is nothing more beautiful, no picture more lovely, than that of a mother with her daughters."

—Gordon B. Hinckley (Ensign, November 1984, p. 90.)

As I read this thought I was reminded of all the many times that my mom would do things with us when we were young and even now as adults. One thing I have enjoyed recently is small but very fun. My mom works downtown on Thursdays and most of the time when she is finished she will come and visit with me and the family. It's never for very long but that time with her has helped me to get closer with her. My mom and I were not close growing up. I usually tried to get her mad at me or do something to make her mad. Now that I am older and realize that what I was doing was crazy. I am trying to make up for some lost time. I am so grateful for my mom. She has always been a great mom. When I was pregnant with Christopher she came to my house and helped me get things ready and clean up a little to have things ready for a new addition. Thanks mom.

ABC's of me

I dont't know what it is about these silly things but I like to fill them out. I thought this one was a bit fun and different. So If you are sick of reading random things about me, you will just have to skip it or something

A – Available or Single: Well I am married

B – Best Friend: Kristen W., we have been through alot. But I am happy to say that I am the luckiest person to have such a good best friend.

C – Cake or Pie: Well I like both. But I would have to say Cake. But a good cherry pie is nice.

D – Drink of Choice: Diet Coke it the elixir of the Gods.

E – Essential Item You Use Everyday: Pen, Cuz otherwise my work would not get done and no money.

F – Favorite Color: Blue, any and all shades. I like it with everything.

G – Gummy Bears or Worms: Well I would have to say Bears. cuz I don't like real worms. But they would have to be Laxative Bears. HEE HEE.

H – Hometown: Salt Lake City. Lived her most of my life. Did spend some time in Ireland for 1 1/2yrs.

I – Indulgence: Ice Cream. My favorite is Prailines and Carmel and Burnt almond fudge. Snelgroves is the best. I go ice cream crazy when it's on sale.

J – January or February: Neither tooooo cooooollllldddd!

K – Kids and Names: 2 Children. Kara Aoife is 2 1/2yrs old and Christopher Kal-El is 7 mos. they are my supergirl and superboy.

L – Life is Incomplete Without: Faith in Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven. Danny and my children. And a soft bed to sleep in.

M – Marriage Date: July 15, 1999. Was a wonderful day. Hot yes very hot.

N – Number of Siblings: 3 Sisters and 1 Brother. Oldest is Emilee Jeanne then comes Me then Laurie Elizabeth then Nikolaus Charles then Amy Renee. Then I have Step siblings too.

O – Oranges or Apples: When I was young only oranges. But now as an adult either one. Apples have to be hard and crisp. then they are juicy. Not much for the green ones though.

P – Phobias or Fears: Crunchy Snow i hate it. Danny thinks I am so wierid. Fears-Spiders and Snakes. I have horrible nightmares about them alot. Just last month I dreamt that there were snakes on my floor in our room and I got up and went running out to the front room. Danny had to come and get me and it took him 5 minutes to convince me that there were no snakes in our room. really scary.

Q – Fave Quote: Remember Somebody Loves you!

R – Reason to Smile: My Children they make me smile everyday. Kara bright face in the morning. How excited she get when I get her up in the morning. Christophers smile when he knows that Mom is here.

S – Season: Fall, It my birthday season. The weather is just right. I love it.

T – Tag 3 or 4 People: Well I don't know may people who have blogs but I will tag them to do email instead. Ava, Kristen, & Elizabeth

U – Unknown Fact About Me: I have a great desire to own alot of electronic devices. radios, ipod, gps, ham radio, any weird electronics I will try to find a way to use it.

V – Vegetable You Don’t Like: Brussel Sprouts yuck

W – Worst Habit: I bit my nails and I pick at hang nails or scabs. Drives Danny crazy.

X – X-rays You’ve Had: my stomach and thats it.

Y – Your Fave Food: Cheese Fries with dipping sauce, chef salad with restaurant ranch, potatoes and chicken, and Steak.

Z – Zodiac Sign: Libra. I like it.

Emotions

I am sitting here thinking about my life as a whole. It is a big roller coaster. Today we finally got our house back into some order. My living room has been housing boxes from a closet that we were cleaning out for my children's bedroom. We got a steal on a new computer for us. We had been saving for just an occasion. So we finally go that put away and ready to go. My children have been sick. Christopher has come down with a cold or something and Kara is just being grouchy. Kara is usually a great sleeper and goes to bed so quickly but not tonight. She has been awake and just struggling to sleep. She sleeps in the same room with Christopher now and she has woken him up twice. She is just struggling. Maybe she is getting sick to and it hasn't manifested it's ugl face yet. I am so grateful for my wonderful chlidren. This experience has reminded me of times that both my children have been to the doctor and needed to have blood drawn and they were troopers. Kara did a children's flu study and they took blood from her for that and she laid there and all she said was "mommy oww" and when they were done she said "I did good." Friday I had to take Christopher to PCMC for some tests and when they drew blood he just sat there and sucked on his bink. The nurse was happy she said that most children would scream and cry. She said that is was very rare that they would have a good child. I was so happy it was mine. I thank Heavenly Father everyday for the wonderful family I have and that they teach and bless me.

My little Superboy

After reading Amy's blog about her cute Allie. I wanted to post my cute little bundle of joy too. Christopher Kal-El he is now 4 1/2 mos old and still smaller than Allie but that's ok he is still cute as can be. He was a surprise to us when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want Danny to know right away so I got the pregnancy test and did it without him knowing and then I went in and told him. We wanted to be sure so I had it done again the next day at a clinic. And here he is. The one thing that I am grateful for is the presence of good doctors. Amy is so right Dr. Peterson is the best. He has been there for me through 2 children. Christopher was an easier c-section than Kara my oldest was. But I knew that no matter what happened I would be ok and Dr. Peterson was there. Being totally numb from the chest down is a very weird feeling.
Holding Christopher for the first time was amazing. Seeing him right after he was delivered and actually being awake is the greatest feeling.
He is becoming the cutest person. He knows that no matter what is wrong I will know what he is trying to tell me. I will ask him a question and he will always tell me the answer. He is definitely Mommy's little boy. I am thankful for his little spirit he helps me see how close we need to be to our Heavenly father.
I am so grateful that he brings cheer and joy to everyone he meets. His Grandma's and Grandpa's love him. His Aunt's and Uncle's fight over who will hold him next. His cousins love to hold him too. Kara just can't get enough of him she will play with him and involve him in whatever she is doing. On Nov. 30, 2006 he rolled over for the first time. They grow way to fast.
I am so grateful for the privledge to be a mother of such wonderful children. To have them to raise and become children of God. Thank you Heavenly Father for giving me this opportunity. Thank you to my mother for showing me your experience and guidance. And to all the many mothers that I know for showing me your example.

Time

Time? What do you think of when you see the word Time? I don't have enough time? Where did all the time go? I think most of us say the first all to often. Tonight I was thinking about my life in the big picture. I feel like all I ever do is Work, eat, and sleep. And maybe get some play time in with the kids. I feel I never see my husband unless he is working, sleeping or being frustrated with anything. All I want is to spend time with him. I am not asking for a lot.
I think that we get stuck in the rut of life and we don't want to change or do anything that my be difficult. Times like this I start to think about why we are here? To be tested. Am I doing all that I can to return to heavenly Father? All of us at one point or another will say NO. This time here on earth is for growing and learning from what we have and how we can make it. With Christmas so close and always remembering Jesus Christ and his birth. But also remembering what he came here to do. Give us a way home. I know I can be better and that I can do what I need to. I just have to try harder. I am the farthest away from perfect and I want to be better. I pray for guidance and help so I can be that better mother, wife and sister.

Charmed

Charmed as you know is one of my favorite shows. I go through phases where I love one show. I really enjoy watching the actors and the stories they tell. As a watched over the course of the show I noticed that as the show matured so did the characters. I came to love the characters more. Alyssa Milano is one actress that I really enjoy watching she was great in Who's the boss and she has been in some movies. I really liked her in Charmed because some times I related to her. No in the physical sense of fighting demons or falling in love. But fighting my own demons of the world. The stories always kept me interested. And helped me see that the opposition that Heavenly Father has given us in very important part of this short time we have on the earth.

Blessing

On Sunday we had the blessing for Christopher. It was also my birthday. Being able to see my son receive his name and blessing was the most enjoyable thing. My birthday has become a memorable occasion for me. I was baptized at 8, I had my mission farewell when I was 21, and now I had my son's blessing when I was 32. It was a very spiritual day for me.
I pondered how grateful I am to have such a wonderful family. One of the most important things in this life is the family. I was grateful to have them all there to be witnesses of such a wonderful occasion. Danny and I were talking about things and I said to him. We need to accept our family the way they are. My parents got divorced and it has been hard on all of us as children. I look at it that this is the way are family is now. So accept it and just make it work. The effort of making it work has to come from all parties. My other siblings have had a harder time dealing with it. But I know in time that they will see that it's not worth it.
One of the most wonderful things about getting married is you get to be a part of a new family. The in-laws. In some cases not every one its happy about that but in my case I don't know what I would do with out my in-laws. My mother-in-law has helped me in so many ways I am grateful that she is so close to me. I have such a wonderful in-law family I am so blessed.

LOVE

So today has been one of fun. I spend my time with 2 wonderful kids. My son brings more happiness to my life. He is helping me with my blog tonight. My daughter is discovering words like crazy. She will repeat most of what I say. If something went wrong its No happed. If we are walking to another room I will tell her let's go and she says Go Go Go. If I am feeding my son she will say boos Cr. if my son is sleeping she will say brother seeping. I am just grateful for my wonderful children and my husband. They bring me all the happiness in the world.