Addiction

What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely.

Franklin P. Jones


What addiction do you have?

I've been debating whether or not to post this. But I realized that the only way I can get past this 1st step is to be honest and believe what I am writing.

I have an addition to Food. It controls my life and I turn to it when I need comfort, or when I am stressed, or when I am angry, or when I just can't deal with my life. Their are a lot of things that put me in this place. My childhood, My teenage years, My discouragements, My failures. I realized that the only way I can get past all this is to put it in my past. To admit my problem and FULLY take hold of what it is doing to me.

It has taken me four months to write this. When I first decided if I was going to write this on my blog. I did not have enough faith in myself to do it. When I decided that I was going to need some help getting myself through this. I knew I had so much emotional baggage that I needed to sort through. So I went to LDS Family services to get help. Back in July my therapist gave me a book. It is called The addiction recovery program. When she handed it to me. My first thought was I don't have any addiction why is she giving me this book. As we talked about it and she told me that Eating disorders is an addiction. She talked about support groups and having me go through the steps. I was over loaded. I just didn't want to admit that I had a problem. So I delayed it focused on some of my other issues.

Last month I had a break through and closed an issue I had for a very long time. I was feeling really good. Towards the end of my session. My therapist said, I have a goal I want you to make. I think you are ready. She said, I want you to walk or run a 5K. I just looked at her in shock. My first thought was I can't do that. We talked about it and she wanted me to make a date and pray about it. I went home feeling really good and knowing that I could do this. I was completely terrified. I thought to myself could I walk a 5K. Well I prayed about it and then decided on the weekend to call my Bonus Mom K to ask her if she could find out when some of the 5K's were happening next year. When I called her she just about did somersaults. She was so excited and said she would find out of me. When I got of the phone I thought WOW she is really excited for me. So I decided to call the rest of my family to tell them. Everyone was so excited for me. This made me feel so good. I was so pumped and ready to do this. My goal that I made was to walk a 5K in Spring. April or May. Since none of the information has posted for the 5K's at that time. I have not set an actual date yet. I think I will head for the Race for the Cure. We will see when time gets closer.

I have been doing some exercise every day. It has been a real struggle to keep myself motivated. I think that Danny is excited for me but I don't know if he really thinks I will go through with it. When I told him I asked him to give me motivation when I am feeling down or wanting to be lazy. He has done good so far. Sometimes we both forget. He has been a good supporter.

I talked with my Doctor this week and he said that keeping up the exercise and doing lots of walking is my best bet. He is happy that I have decided to do something and get myself into shape and get healthy. He wanted me to remember that once my 5K is coming and done I need to make a goal what I am going to go next.

I know that I can do this and I am grateful for the support of my family. I am going to a Eating Disorders support group. My first time was this week. I left the meeting knowing that I can do this and that I am not alone. I look forward to continuing with those meetings.

I know that I will not be able to do this without the Lord. I have been renewed that I need to Trust in the Lord and continue to have faith in myself. I would like continued help and support from my family.

I have a plea. I need some good walking shoes and want everyone to be on the look out for some good shoes for me and any sales that may come up. If anyone would like to donate some money to the purchase of these new shoes. Any help would be appreciated. I have also been thinking of other ways I can get motivated. Couple thoughts I have had is a weight loss program or membership to a gym.

My best friend Kristen has recently told me she got a membership to Gold's gym and she loves going every day. She says it helps with stress and keeping fit. We have talked about it every time we talk.

This has been really hard for me to finally post and admit to the world of my addiction. Thank you everyone for all the support you have given me so far.

Family Movie Night

So last night for our movie night. We watched Night at the Museum. We did not get a chance to see it in the theaters. I was wanting to see it. Danny and the children gave it to me for my birthday.

As we started to watch it. Kara asks. "Mom, Elfee there is an Elfee." I said yes there is an elephant. She then says. "Mommy, what is wrong with the Elfee?" I said It's a statue. Then she says "It's dead mommy." I said yes sweetheart it is dead.

As we continued to watch the movie and the museum comes to life. Kara sees the Elephants and she says "Mommy the Elfee is ok. He is alive." I said yes that is right.


As we watched more of the movie. Christopher every time he would see the T-rex. He would start to growl. Showing us that it was a dinosaur. And when he saw the Lions he did the same. He also loved the monkeys too. And he would say "Eeeeaaaah"

We really enjoyed watching this movie. Danny and I laughed a lot. It was a great movie. When we were done watching, Kara said, "Mommy I want to watch it again."
We certainly had a great time watching this together.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY KARA. SHE PICKED THE PICTURES THAT ARE HERE. THERE IS A HAPPY ELEPHANT, HAPPY HIPPO AND A HAPPY KITTY.

MY BABY GIRL IS NOW 4 YEARS OLD. SHE HAS TOLD ME THAT SHE WANTS TO BE A DOCTOR WHEN SHE GROWS UP. SHE LOVES TO DRAW AND MAKE PICTURES OF MOMMY, DADDY, KARA AND CHRISTOPHER.

KARA IS TELLING ME A STORY WHILE I WRITE THIS BLOG. HER STORY IS MOMMY IS SICK AND KARA GROWS UP TO BE A DOCTOR AND HELPS MOMMY GET BETTER AND GIVES HER A SHOT. THE END.

I LOVE YOU MY SWEET GIRL. YOU ARE GROWING UP TO FAST.

The Incredible Hulk

Today Danny, Kara and Christopher and I went down to Far West Comics for the 1 year anniversary. We were able to see Lou Ferrigno as there special guest. I was able to shake his hand. And I got the picture with him. When we were leaving he said "I hope you enjoy the rest of your day."

It was really fun to be there and to have a chance to see Lou Ferrigno. As most people know the Incredible Hulk has been one of my favorites since I was little. I had Hulk toys and pajamas. Now that I am older I have lots of the hulk episodes on DVD and some on VHS. I have Hulk movies and comics. I even have a Hulk Lava Lamp.

The current Hulk movie was great. I really enjoyed watching different sides of the hulk that they have shown.

I am so excited that I had the great opportunity to see Lou Ferrigno. One I will always remember.

Birthday Party for Christopher

I am now 2 years old. I had so much fun at my party. We ate cake and ice cream and had root beer floats. So yummy. I had family from both Mommy and Danny's side. I played at the park and opened lots of presents. Thank you to all my family for the wonderful presents I love them and play with them all and will wear the clothes soon.

Happy Birthday Christopher!

On Christopher's Birthday we decided to visit the Zoo in the morning. Christopher has been so excited about animals we thought it would be fun.

MaMa and Baby Giraffe were fun to watch eating. They did go outside and watched them for a while. Kara especially loved the Baby.


Statue of the Tigers was fun to sit on. Kara did say that it was a little hot. Christopher growled when he saw the Tiger. He really enjoyed watching him walk back and forth.


Well as Gorilla's are Daddy's favorite we watched the gorilla's sleep. Danny got lots of pictures of the Silverback's Hands and Feet close up. Kara and Christopher loved sitting on the ledge and watch the Mommy Gorilla trying to get comfortable.


Kara's favorite is the Elephant's they had a presentation and talked about what they do to take care of the Elephant's Kara loved watching them. She also sat on the elephant and it made noise for her.



The White Alligator was very fun. He wasn't doing much when we saw it. So just pictures of it sleeping was all we got.


Kara and Christopher thought that this was the lemur on Zoobomafoo. One of there favorite shows. So very excited when they saw the lemur.

We had a lot of fun seeing all the animals and enjoying the fun. We also took a ride an the Train and we told the people it was Christopher's birthday and they announced it before we took the ride. It was really fun.

They grow up too fast

How they grow up too fast. I remember this like it was just yesterday. Noah and Kara on Christmas 2004.

Kara in 2006. I just can't believe how they grow up and become so wonderful. Kara said her first prayer in Primary today. She was so big and Danny said she did great. She loves church and primary so much. She looks forward to it each week.


Christopher when he was a day old in 2006.

He then grows up and is now bigger. This is in 2007 just after he turned a year. He will be 2 yrs old on Saturday and I am just amazed how he has grown up and is saying so many more words.


I am thankful for my children. How they put a smile on my face and help me through each day. I am thankful for their spirits and the love I feel from them. I am thankful that they chose me to be their mother. They help me each day to be closer to the lord and strive to be better each day.

HAPPY JULY 4TH TO ALL!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! OUR DAY OF INDEPENDENCE.

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. ~Elmer Davis



Freedom's natal day is here.
Fire the guns and shout for freedom,
See the flag above unfurled!
Hail the stars and stripes forever,
Dearest flag in all the world.
~Florence A. Jones

I AM THANKFUL FOR OUR INDEPENDENCE. I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THOSE SOLDIERS FIGHTING FOR OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS TO HAVE THAT SAME FREEDOM.

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE SERVED OR ARE SERVING IN THE MILITARY. I PRAY FOR YOU ALL.

MOTHER'S

The mother's I know are wonderful.

My own mom who while growing up we did not get along well. I wanted to be a bad child and she wanted to help me in any way she could. Now that I am Mom I know how she feels. She now is asking to help and I try to accept the help when ever I can. I feel that my relationship with my Mom is better now than it ever has been. When ever I am home on a Thursday she will stop by and visit with us. I looked forward to the visit each week. Now that I am working I miss those visits.

My Mother in law has been a wonderful help and source in my life. She has taken me in as one of her own. We are helping her by having her for dinner each week. So she can have the time and visits she wishes to have with her children. She enjoys my yummy food and visits with Danny and I and she loves playing with the children. She has helped me through some tough times I've had with Danny and has always been there for me.

My 2nd Mom she came into my life only a couple of years ago, when my Dad re-married. She is a wonderful mom and help to me. She has been there to help when I could not find help anywhere else. She enjoys see us and the children. She has a big heart and is always finding ways to help or give us her love.

My Grandma Sonntag she has been such a strength to me. She is always happy and loving to everyone. I have never heard her say an unkind thing about anyone. When grandpa died I knew it was hard for her but she did not show her sadness when around her family. I remember a time just after and I came to visit while family was away and we did not want to leave her alone. I made chicken enchiladas and we watched Singing in the rain. She had never seen that before and she just loved it. I loved having that time with her and enjoying her presence.

My Grandma Shepard I always loved go to grandma's when I was young she always had such good food and I loved playing with her toys. She always loves having her family around to visit with. I remember one time when I had to stay at her house she let me sleep in her bed. She wanted to make it as comfortable as possible so she let me listen to classical music to help me sleep. I remember always enjoying that time with her. She has showed me such strength in all she does. She has worked so hard in all she has done. And has helped me see that we have to work to enjoy life and the blessings of the gospel.

Thank you to all the Mom's out there. I could go on forever about the mother's I know. These are the ones I think about when mother's day comes. All my sister's are mother's and I have learned so much from them as well. I would be writing a novel.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL!

HAPPY HUBCAP DAY!!

A tradition that Kristen, Mary, Helen and I started years ago. Today is Happy Hubcap Day! Since I don't stop and collect hubcaps much any more. I am sending all who looks at this note a Happy Hubcap Day Message.




HAVE A FABULOUS HAPPY HUBCAP DAY AND ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS OF LIFE.

Happy Birthday NOAH!

So Noah is now 4. And so big. We had so much fun at his birthday parties. Kara and Christopher enjoyed the pin the bat symbol on Batman at My Mom's. They had fun playing with Noah and cousins at Dad's and jumping on the trampoline. Here are some pictures we took. Enjoy.

We love you NOAH!

Thankful Sunday 4-6-08

For General Conference.
There were so many talks that just gave me a confirming spirit of the gospel. I know that it is true. Pres. Monson is the prophet today. The solemn assembly was so powerful. It brought the spirit so close.


For my family.
They bring me joy and happiness. Everyday I come home from work they all get so excited to see me and give me hugs and kisses.


Kara
For her beautiful smile and the joy she brings me each day. She is growing so fast and I love every minute I spend with her. She is having success with potty training. I am so proud of her and the success she has had.



Christopher
For his joy and love he shows to me each day. How he knows when we need a hug. He is growing so big and doing so well with his weight. He says new words every day. Today he said Dorey(Dorothy) Elmo's fish, Sippy, Food, Sister, Kara, Mommy, Batman, and Superman. He is growing too fast.


Children in a basket.
I don't think I need to say anymore. They are so cute in the basket.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

So I am so excited about this movie. I can't wait to see it. You have to go to the site and see the new teaser trailer. It looks so awesome.

http://www.IndianaJones.com/site/?deeplink=videos/2/v30

FIVE

5 years ago I was ... moving out of my sister's basement to live with an old man to help him out. Working at a comic book store and cell phone sales job to try and stay afloat.

5 months ago I was ... just found out that I was being laid off from my job.

5 hours ago I was ... just took Kara to school. Running errands with Christopher and talking to my sister Amy on the phone.

5 minutes ago I was ... reading email.

5 things on my 'to do' list today: Wash and put gas in the car, clean my front room and kitchen. Finish the dishes.

5 recent pieces of mail I've received: Bills, Ads for grocery store, pre-approved credit offer.

5 things I would do if I became a billionaire: Pay off Danny student loans, pay off all our debt, pay off the car, buy a house, Help my family with some things they need.

5 of my bad habits: biting my nails when I'm nervous, eating when I'm upset, piling clothes on the futon, cleaning my house, putting off anything that I don't want to do.

5 good memories: Going on my mission to Ireland, Seeing Goofy in Disneyland when I was young, Seeing Christopher for the first time. Holding Kara after she was born, Kissing Danny for the first time.(I broke my bed that night I was so happy)

5 films I watch over and over again: Spiceworld, Indiana Jones Trilogy, Star Wars movies, Never been kissed and Ever After

5 places I've lived: My parents house, Places in Ireland, Apt. with Helen and Mary, My sister's basement, my Apt in the Avenues.

5 songs I love: Eye of the tiger, Pretty Vegas, Love today, Big girl you are beautiful, Grace Kelly.(Last 3 are all by Mika)

5 jobs I've had: Cust. Service/Telemarketing phone job, Signer, Sales at a trade show selling massage pillows, Receptionist many places but my favorite was at a Disabled care center, worked retail as a cashier and worked in the deli

5 things most people don't know about me: My huge desire to lose weight, really hate crunchy snow, mmmm, can't think of any more.

5 things in my virtual shopping bags: Digital Camera, New Mac computer, ipod nano, camcorder, new clothes for work.

5 books I love to death: Tennis Shoes series by Chris Heimerdinger, Gable books by Anita Stansfield, Believing Christ, Following Christ, and Hope

5 things that are out of place around my house: DVD still sitting in our kitchen from our flood, laundry on the futon, children's books all over Kara/CK's room, pile of clothes that don't fit me on my bedroom floor.

5 films I want to see: Indiana Jones IV, Batman the dark knight, Incredible Hulk, I know their are others but I can't think.

5 things I love to eat: Ice cream, carmel, chocolate, cereal with milk, and mashed potatoes, chicken with cream of mushroom soup.

5 destinations I'm dying to see: Ireland, England, Hawaii, Florida, and to take Danny to a Comic Con Convention

5 scents I love: chocolate chip cookies, clean babies, Danny's clean hair, fresh smell after it rains, baking bread.

5 people (who are not blood relations or in-laws) who have had a positive impact on my life: Kristen W., Mary G., Rowlie S., Mrs. Wight, and Wini B.

My true color

What's Your True Color?

My Result: Green

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=colorogt&c=50652