When do we have the Spirit?

Sorry for the long wait between posts. It's been a busy few weeks for me. Well I've been thinking for a while on posting this. I friend gave me this paper and it really hit me. So the questions are When do you have the Spirit? When do you not have the Spirit?

WHEN YOU HAVE THE SPIRIT
-You feel happy and calm.
-You feel full of light, your mind is clear.
-Your bosom burns. You feel generous.
-Nobody could offend you.
-You feel confident in everything you do.
-You wouldn't mind everybody seeing what you are doing.
-You feel outgoing, anxious to be with others.
-You are glad when others succeed.
-You want to make others happy.
-You bring out the best of others.
-You feel like praying.
-You wish you could keep all commandments.
-You feel like you have control over your appetites and emotions, calm and controlled speech, no anger, etc.
-You are generally just glad to be alive.

WHEN YOU DO NOT HAVE THE SPIRIT
-You feel unhappy, depressed confused, frustrated.
-You feel heavy, full of darkness. Your mind is muddled.
-You feel empty, hollow cold inside.
-You feel selfish, possessive, self-centered.
-Everything anyone does bothers you.
-You are always on the defensive.
-You easily become discouraged.
-You want to be alone, avoid others especially family.
-You become envious of what others do and have.
-You are critical of others, especially family and authority.
-You become secretive, sneaky, and evasive.
-You don't want to pray. You get mad when others do.
-You find commandments bothersome and restricting.
-You become a slave to your appetites, emotions, have extreme mood swings, over-indulgence, strong anger, out-spokeness, etc.
-You wonder if life is really worth it.

When I finished reading this. I realized how much I need to work on getting the spirit in my life more. As my week has been so busy. I sometimes tell myself that I don't need to pray or read my scriptures.
I know that the only way to feel the spirit every day and to not sucome to the holds of Satan is to DAILY say your Prayers and Read the Scriptures. The two most simple ways to be close to the Lord and yet some time so hard to do.
My goal this week is to Pray each day and to Read my Scriptures each day as well. When I was in the past doing this daily my life was blessed. I know this to be true.
I hope that if you are not currently having daily prayer and reading scriptures that you will make the same goal for yourself.
I hope this will help you as much as it has helped me.

CTR

What does the CTR ring mean to you?

To most LDS people out there the CTR ring is a symbol to remind us to Choose the Right. Having that reminder is a great way for me to think before I do something.

In my Eating Disorders Support Group. One of my friends made the comment that when she wears her CTR ring it is a reminder to her to Choose To Recover. I like that. This week I decided that I wanted to get a new CTR ring, to have that constant reminder on my finger that I have chosen to recover. It has been really hard lately for me to focus on my recovery. I had to make some decisions in my life to help give me the encouragement I needed to help me move forward.

One thing that I was reminded about yesterday is. Jesus Christ loves us for who we are. He atoned for the sins of everyone on this earth. He atoned for the sins and sadness I feel. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He doesn't care what we look like. The Lord just wants us to be happy and to know that he is always there to help and guide us.

My challenge for myself an any reading this is:
Seek to see yourself as the Lord see you. Pray and ask for that. I need to love myself the way the Lord loves me.

Faith

Well today I was struggling about 2pm and I was wishing that I could just eat a big sloppy hamburger. I was trying to think of something to do and as I sat there the impression kept coming to me to get my Book of Mormon out and read it. It took me another hour or so to finally get my Book of Mormon out and I found some scriptures that I had written down from a while ago. So I started to read some of them. The first was Alma 5:15. As I read it the part about Faith really hit me. "Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you?" Then I read in Alma 9:27. "And behold, he cometh to redeem those who will be baptized unto repentance, through faith on his name." Then I started thinking I need to have more faith in Jesus Christ. I need to remember the reason he suffered for me. Then I started to think How can I exercise more faith? I wrote down a quote on the paper that the scriptures were on and here's what it said.

"The Lord receives you as you exercise your faith in him, as you cleave to righteousness."

Then I started thinking that when I am righteous and do what I am suppose to then my faith grows. A couple of weeks ago I had a day off and was spending some time with my son. We had just returned home and I was fixing us lunch. We had sandwiches and I had an avocado that I needed to use and when I was done my son asked me. "Mommy, what is that? I then said it's the seed. He pondered what I had said and looked at it for a moment and then said Mommy can I have it? I told him sure. We washed it and it carried it around the house for the next 2 days. The seed had dried up and some of the outside skin was peeling off. This story reminds me how faith is like a seed and the story in Alma 32 about faith. In verse 27 it says "Behold, if you will awake and arouse your faculties...and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you..."

As most of my friends and family know I have an Eating Disorder. Compulsive overeating disorder. It is some days such a struggle. For a year and half I've been going to an LDS Addiction Recovery Program. It has really helped me to see how important it is to keep the gospel and Jesus Christ close. I started to think about the first step in the program. It is "Honesty: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addiction and that your life has become unmanageable." Some days for me this step really hits home because I feel that because I am not as close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. My life is in constant unmanageable mode. I am working on that. I know that Jesus Christ suffered for what I go through everyday, every minute. I have the faith that when I do what I am suppose to and work hard my life will become manageable again. It will take alot of work.

You know having an Eating Disorder and addiction is I feel one of the hardest. You have to eat to live. But most of the time I'm living to eat. I am so thankful that I have prayer. I am thankful I have the scriptures. I am thankful for LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program. I am so thankful for all the people that support me. I am thankful for my family. My faith sometimes is small but I know it's is growing.

I read one last quote today and it really helped me see why the Lord puts us through trials and hardships.

This is by Adhemar Damiani
The Lord has said, "Whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance." (D&C 95:1) The Lord loves each one of us. He wants us to be happy. This happiness comes by our faith in Jesus Christ, by our sincere and true repentance, by our obedience to his commandments, and by our endurance to the end... If we daily exercise faith, meekness, charity, and lowliness in heart, confessing that Jesus is the Christ and accepting His Atonement, we will be blessed with the strength and hope to face and overcome the trials and pains of this life.

This quote and promises are so amazing. I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true and living church on the earth. I know I can exercise the faith that I need. I know that I will be blessed as I continue the path I am going to overcome my eating disorder. I know that Jesus Christ will help me as I do what it says in the quote. I know that the Bible and Book of Mormon are true and inspired scriptures. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Thank you to all who have read this. Please post a comment so I know that it's been read.

Going to try something new

Well I was thinking the other day as I was listening to one of my podcast's that it would be fun and good for me to direct my energy somewhere when I just want to eat. They talked about blogging. So I am going to try and blog more. I am going to work on reading my scriptures more and then blog about what I read and my thoughts or impressions I had about it. I am going to blog about once a week maybe more. I hope you all enjoy.

It's the truth.

I've been debating about writing this post because it's the scariest thing. I have feared for a long time. I've been overweight for most of my life. It started with when I was young I was so hyper that my Mom would take me to Doctors, Therapists, and Psychitrists. She tried everything to help me calm down. She was told by one of the people that she took me to that certain foods would make me more hyper. So I was not allowed certain foods. This was hard on me and on my siblings. I remember my sisters getting mad that they could not have something as simple as Macaroni and Cheese with Hot Dogs. This made me angry and really hurt. When I got older and in Jr. High there was a Convient store on my way home from school and so to get back at my parents for not allowing me to eat certain foods. I would steal money from there purse or wallet and buy whatever I wanted. This started my food addiction. I found myself eating when I was upset, bored, angry, sad, and sometimes even happy.
Now that I am married and have children. I have struggled with my weight even more. After the birth of my children I became so obese I found myself at a weight that I did not ever or think I would ever be at. I was 405 lbs. That was the breaking point for me. So in April 2008 I decided that I needed to tackle some of the issues I've had with my weight. Especially some of the emotional ones. I started seeing a counselor and in the process I saw two different ones. Things were going really well and I was feeling really good about what I was doing and about myself. I was challenged to walk a 5K and my thought at the time was I could never do that. I then realized that with some excerise and work I could do it. So in May 2009 I walked the Race for the Cure. I had many supporters in this. I completed this walk and I felt great. I really felt that I was working toward a great future. Shortly after that I lost the counselor I was seeing and she felt I could do this on my own. I just didn't feel ready. I still had a big issue that concerned my weight to work through. I was devistated. I really didn't know what to do. I tried working out and continuing what I was already doing. I was just to discouraged with what happened and felt I just could not keep going. It has been really hard for me to get back. I finally got so strapped for money I put my gym membership on hold and stopped. I did walk my own 5K a few months after the one in May. But I was doing it more for show to my family and friends. Currently the only thing that is keeping me from going completely over the edge is my weekly meetings in the Addiction Recovery Program. I went for 3 yrs. In the summer of 2011 Kara had been bugging me to do Karate. I wanted to do it as well but was conflicted since it was the same night as my Addiction Recovery Meeting. I decided that I would start Karate and work a meeting in on another day. Well Karate has been going great I am now an orange belt. My Sensai has been really working us out. I am now slowly starting with things again. Excerise and working on eating right.
I started this post back in 2010 and I feel it still fits with what I am doing so I decided to publish it.

Things that make me happy - The Beach

The beach is a lot of things for me. It's a place I go in my mind to get away when I need to. I have a picture above my computer of a beach. It's a great place. It has in the picture a beach chair. I imagine myself sitting there and enjoying the view and the peace of the beach and ocean.


It's a place I really enjoy. The couple of vacations I've taken where there is a beach. I loved it. I love the ocean. The sounds of the waves washing in. I enjoyed the not so good attempts to Body Surf. I love swimming.


Heavenly Father was so inspired to create such a beautiful thing. I am so thankful for the beaches and oceans we have.

Indiana Jones makes me happy

Well my first post is going to be about Indiana Jones and all the many things that I love about him that make me happy.

First off in about May 09' I discovered Podcasts and all the many things you can listen to. I started to search a few things that I have always loved and came across the Star Wars podcast The Forcecast. I started listening to the most current episode and they mentioned Indiana Jones and the Indycast. I just about jumped out of my seat. I came home that night and downloaded some of the episodes. Ed Dolista is the host. After listening to that first show. I was hooked. I love the way he formats the show and how other fans are able to contribute. Rob does great Indy opinion's which is a poll of something Indy related. I love Mitchell's Raider's rant. The trivia always stumps me, so I just enjoy listening to how other's found the answers to the trivia questions. I enjoy Ron the Reviewer and his reviews of anything Indy. Ed and all the crew do such a great job. Right now and the past few months this has brought me so much joy. I look forward to Monday's knowing I get to download my new Indycast episode. Tuesday morning during work I listen. I am always taking notes so I can keep thinking Indy as they say on the Indycast. Thanks for all you guys do.

Next a little history. My first real memory of Indiana Jones was in 1989 when Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was in theater's. My birthday that year my Aunt that has my same birthday took me to see the movie. It was truly one of the best birthday's I can remember. I saw Raider's and Temple of Doom. But because of that memory and great day. Last Crusade is still my favorite. When I was young my dad had a whip and I would take it into the backyard and try to crack it. I was not very good but it was fun. My Dad and I would watch the movies together and we would always pop popcorn and make it a fun movie night. I even now have the Raider's theme for my Dad's Ring tone on my phone.

This picture is a fun scene for me. I love the relationship that Indy and his Dad had. This scene just brings out the fun. I watched the movies growing up and enjoyed all the fun and excitement I got out of them. I even dressed up as Indy one year for Halloween. My own style Fedora is the only thing I still have. When I got married my husband enjoyed the movies too and so we watched them together. Then I heard they were making a new movie. I was so excited. I saw that the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles was playing on TV so I watched as many as they played. My husband and I went and saw the movie. There was good and bad things that I liked about the movie. But overall I loved it. It was so great to see Harrison Ford as Indy again. I then bought some of the action figures and have one displayed at home and when I had a bigger desk at work I had one displayed there. I also bought a book that talked about the different movies and facts about them. The name of the book escapes my mind right now. Since then I am always looking to collect more things. Due to money restrictions I buy what I can. I did have a Indy filled Christmas. I received the Movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and two video games for my Nintendo DS. Lego Indiana Jones 2 and Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings. I've only played a little of each but they are so much fun. I've been interested in collecting more things. A couple of weeks ago while listening to the Indycast they mentioned there was a Young Indiana Jones Pocket Knife. I've always loved pocket knife's and would love to have one. I did search a few places on the Internet but no luck. Maybe someday.

OK so last thing about Indiana Jones that makes me happy is Harrison Ford. He is such an amazing actor. I have loved almost all the movies he has done. He has done so a wide range of different movies and has such great acting skills. But Indiana Jones and Han Solo have to be my most favorite roles he's played. I am just grateful for such great people who have such great talent to entertain us. Some of Harrison Ford's other movies that I have enjoyed watching are the Star War's trilogy, Regarding Henry, The Fugitive, Air Force One, The Witness, Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, 6 days 7 nights, Presumed Innocent, Sabrina, Random Hearts, K-19: The Widowmaker, Hollywood Homicide, Working Girl, and The Frisco Kid. I also enjoyed his small role on the TV series Gunsmoke.

Thank you to all out there who give me my Indiana Jones fix and help me be happy. As they say on the Indycase "If adventure has a name it must be Indiana Jones."

Things that make me happy

Well I was thinking tonight that I wanted to post on my blog. Well I just couldn't think what to post. Then I started thinking about one of the things that my friend told me a few weeks ago. Think about the things that make you happy. So I am going to write my blog about things that make me happy. Each post will be on one thing. I hope you all enjoy.

Feeling the pain

Well yesterday I had the day off and enjoyed a good day. I went shopping and exchanged some clothes I got from Christmas that were too little. Yes I am way behind. After I went to lunch with my best friend. I dropped her off at her house and I look at my watch it says 3:05pm. Crap I thought I am suppose to pick up my daughter in 5 minutes. I was at least 15 minutes away. So I started on my way. Well I ended up getting to the school at 3:25pm. As we were leaving the school she was upset that she could not play with a school mate and I was not watching where I was going and I landed on a big piece of ice in the middle of the sidewalk. I then felt my foot just go the wrong way and just felt the pain I was already feeling in that foot intensify 100 times. I was in such pain. Thankfully I had the foot wrapped in an Ace bandage since it was hurting earlier. It could have been worse. I got a new ankle brace later that night.

Starting out 2010

Well 2010 has started out a little rough for me. I was sick and my family was sick too. I've had off and on problems with the heat in our apt. I had a huge fight with my friend and I have not been able to do anything about talking to her. I've been at a stand still on my weight. I feel that everyone is giving up on me and different areas of my life. The lady at my 2nd job had a Mini Stroke and that's been fun to deal with her drama with her family and man she is living with. I've been feeling kinda lost. Made a goal to read my scriptures every day and to have personal and family prayer every day and have FHE every Monday with the family. I have been able to keep those up and it helps me through each day and week. Well that's all I have to say today. Night to all. I am going to post more. I spend too much time on Facebook.