Well today I was struggling about 2pm and I was wishing that I could just eat a big sloppy hamburger. I was trying to think of something to do and as I sat there the impression kept coming to me to get my Book of Mormon out and read it. It took me another hour or so to finally get my Book of Mormon out and I found some scriptures that I had written down from a while ago. So I started to read some of them. The first was Alma 5:15. As I read it the part about Faith really hit me. "Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you?" Then I read in Alma 9:27. "And behold, he cometh to redeem those who will be baptized unto repentance, through faith on his name." Then I started thinking I need to have more faith in Jesus Christ. I need to remember the reason he suffered for me. Then I started to think How can I exercise more faith? I wrote down a quote on the paper that the scriptures were on and here's what it said.
"The Lord receives you as you exercise your faith in him, as you cleave to righteousness."
Then I started thinking that when I am righteous and do what I am suppose to then my faith grows. A couple of weeks ago I had a day off and was spending some time with my son. We had just returned home and I was fixing us lunch. We had sandwiches and I had an avocado that I needed to use and when I was done my son asked me. "Mommy, what is that? I then said it's the seed. He pondered what I had said and looked at it for a moment and then said Mommy can I have it? I told him sure. We washed it and it carried it around the house for the next 2 days. The seed had dried up and some of the outside skin was peeling off. This story reminds me how faith is like a seed and the story in Alma 32 about faith. In verse 27 it says "Behold, if you will awake and arouse your faculties...and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you..."
As most of my friends and family know I have an Eating Disorder. Compulsive overeating disorder. It is some days such a struggle. For a year and half I've been going to an LDS Addiction Recovery Program. It has really helped me to see how important it is to keep the gospel and Jesus Christ close. I started to think about the first step in the program. It is "Honesty: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addiction and that your life has become unmanageable." Some days for me this step really hits home because I feel that because I am not as close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. My life is in constant unmanageable mode. I am working on that. I know that Jesus Christ suffered for what I go through everyday, every minute. I have the faith that when I do what I am suppose to and work hard my life will become manageable again. It will take alot of work.
You know having an Eating Disorder and addiction is I feel one of the hardest. You have to eat to live. But most of the time I'm living to eat. I am so thankful that I have prayer. I am thankful I have the scriptures. I am thankful for LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program. I am so thankful for all the people that support me. I am thankful for my family. My faith sometimes is small but I know it's is growing.
I read one last quote today and it really helped me see why the Lord puts us through trials and hardships.
This is by Adhemar Damiani
The Lord has said, "Whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance." (D&C 95:1) The Lord loves each one of us. He wants us to be happy. This happiness comes by our faith in Jesus Christ, by our sincere and true repentance, by our obedience to his commandments, and by our endurance to the end... If we daily exercise faith, meekness, charity, and lowliness in heart, confessing that Jesus is the Christ and accepting His Atonement, we will be blessed with the strength and hope to face and overcome the trials and pains of this life.
This quote and promises are so amazing. I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true and living church on the earth. I know I can exercise the faith that I need. I know that I will be blessed as I continue the path I am going to overcome my eating disorder. I know that Jesus Christ will help me as I do what it says in the quote. I know that the Bible and Book of Mormon are true and inspired scriptures. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
Thank you to all who have read this. Please post a comment so I know that it's been read.
5 comments:
This is great Baba. I always have to emphasize to my class that God blesses us AFTER the trial of our faith. He knows we can do it, but if we are blessed before we prove to ourselves that we can do it, we won't learn, we won't grow, and our faith and testamony won't be strengthened. It's hard to think that we have to go through hard things, but its like my YW girls told me, "I can do hard things."
"You can do Hard things". As long as we have Christ behind us and we are moving forward and not stagnant or going backward. I love you Aub. Thank you for your testimony
Your faith will help you through your trials.
I love you so much!!! Just know that your Mother loves you.
Hi Audrey,
Just wanted to leave a comment to this post in particular. I have also struggled with Food Addiction since I was in High School. Back then it took the form of bulemia and later anorexia and now just a constant need. It's nice to know other people go through this. I wish I were as in touch with it as you are. Anyway, just wanted to let you know your thoughts are appreciated and you're not by yourself. XOXO Wendy
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